Someone asked on Max Fisch about what “What qualities make the ideal mistress”? which prompted a huge rant from me… the key message of which is mistress_jadis rocks – giggles…
Here’s what I said…
I thought about this quite a bit when I was thinking about taking on an apprentice Mistress (happily very successfully with Mistress Jadis)
I wanted someone who had worked in a business environment – as I have noticed that ladies who’ve only worked in the sex industry or who are too young to have worked much at all have a skewed idea of what “normal” business life is like, and often have a different perspective of money and value which can be reflected in a negative attitude towards clients…
I wanted someone who was already demonstrably kinky – who had been exploring their sexuality in devious and deviant ways already…
I wanted someone who was an adult – who had life experience – preferably who had already achieved success in a vanilla environment… so that professional domination would always be a joy and not a way to pay the bills or make themselves feel special…
I wanted someone with the interpersonal skills to deal with a wide variety of people. Someone who would be able to think clearly about their personal boundaries and stick to them…
Someone who would really like the clients we see – who would see them as interesting humans with fabulous desires we get to play with… rather than weird old perverts with cash.
Who would approach all our play with joyfulness and fun and compassion – who’d perceive our subs as really nice people we get to have fun with… or who we pass on to others who’d be more suitable. Who’d never look down on someone because what his ideal fantasy transgressed our personal boundaries (sex, body worship, brown showers, whatever) – but would just refer them on…
Who would respect the hard skills necessary to be *really* good – and be willing to put in the work to learn them. Who’d be patient enough to wait for months before doing sessions by themselves – who’d be more interested in the skills than the cash.
Who would appreciate the “old school” values of hierarchy and be willing to take guidance from me as senior Mistress and dungeon owner…
Who would be commercially beautiful – as we all know – true beauty comes from within… but there are some people who conform more to current standards and are thus going to be more successful in this industry.
Of course this is to train another Independent Domme who I wanted to be a reflection of my values… I understand that the sex industry survives on the proverbial 22 year old goth/indie girl… that will be filled with the glamor of domination – cash and coolness – even if that’s not really what she’s into and she despises the weird old perves who pay all that money… and feels a bit uncomfortable with them dribbling on her feet and ass – but hey – it’s not “sex” so it’s okay….
That kind of exploitation of the subs and the “dommes” in equal measure isn’t me though… so I found another attractive, kinky, vanilla-successful woman to train…
I B> Mistress Jadis – it took a lot of time to find her – but she’s a keeper!