In it for the “long haul”

by | Oct 18, 2010

A combination of my birthday and recent online discussions have made me think a bit about what it means to be a "career Domme".

I know a fair number of ladies try their hand a professional domination for a year or two (or even less) and decide it’s not really for them – others a few years then move on to something different perhaps because they finish their studies and start to focus on their "proper" profession. Which is very different from myself – I really do see Professional Domination as my actual profession – more so than when I was working as a successful PR consultant…

Anyway – the original thread was "How long does a ProDomme stay working?" and this was my (slightly ranty) response.

it varies a lot…

I believe that there are a few "tiers" of Dommes – depending on their investment in professional domination as a career.

entry level – new to 6mth – young ladies who are curious about professional domination and start asking around… when I worked in a house every time new apprentices were taken on there’d be a fast attrition rate. The money isn’t what you were expecting

junior level – 6 to 18mths – still in the house have some basic skills and wardrobe, have (hopefully) attracted a few regulars. This is the "hard yards" really – not new, but not experienced… if you’re not into it and not patient it’s easy to become discouraged.

If someone gets through the first couple of stages then they’re probably going to stay practising…. however to what level is another thing.

Quite a large percentage of ladies aren’t full time Dommes – they either just pick up one or two shifts a week at a house – or go "independent" because they realise that they’re just not making any money sitting on the sofa at a house… It’s interesting how many Dommes have a website – and a profile – but not a lot of sessions. Eventually I guess they decide that it’s not worth the hassle for a couple of sessions a month so they move on.

The other popular route is lifestyle ladies who have a lot of submissive men saying "you should be a pro" – who then put a couple of adds in the paper, put a website together and session out of their spare room. For some ladies it’s spare cash, or a fun hobby on the side – they’re not as invested in domination as a career in itself so will be expecting to leave after a few years of fun.

If however you look at Dommes who have their own playspaces and who are reasonably focussed on the "professional" side as well as the "domme" side of being a ProDomme then you’ll see women who stay for quite some time.

Speaking personally – when you’ve spent a lot of money on real estate (no you don’t want to know – Sydney is a top 10 world city in terms of pricing), equipment, toys, outfits etc etc…. you have no desire to hang up the whip as it were

So once someone’s made it to the Senior Mistress tier – 5+ years imo – they’re likely to stay around for quite some time…

I’ve made it to 10 and fully expect to see 20. The market may have a large demand for youth, but there is also a slightly smaller but still very significant market for experience, equipment and confidence… and a lot less ladies with 10+ years experience than cute girls in lingerie so we tend to do quite well

Just me having a little ramble really – but there really seemed to be a majority of people who thought that Mistresses are only around for a year or so! Maybe that’s a difference between the US and Australia as when I look at the Salon Kitty’s website I still see a lot of ladies who were there when I was working there too – about 7 or 8 years ago!

While youth and beauty can be very important characteristics that people look for when they’re choosing a Mistress to see – I also firmly believe that there is a place for experience (and attractiveness too hopefully).