“Message received at 3.58 am:
Hi I was ringing up about your B&D Mistress add in the paper.
Look I was just wondering if while you were flogging me and whipping me and doing all this naughty stuff to me if you could have a growling dog chained up just short of me so it barks and tries to rip me to pieces and I get really really scared from it that would immensley turn me on.
If you could call me back on (number) I would muchly appreciate that… and if you could please make sure it a rottweiler type dog.
Thank you sweetie”
The funny thing is that I do have a 50kg bullmastiff… but I wouldn’t want to upset her by exposing her to idiots!