Asking for what you want

by | Aug 22, 2005

Hmm – I wrote a cool post and xjournal ate it 🙁

Anyway – I’ve been thinking about how hard it can be for a sub to ask for what they really want… sometimes people give a list of “hard limits” and hope that I’ll deduce from what’s not in the list what their real interest is!

Today I had someone new who while we spent quite a long time chatting about interests etc – but somehow we didn’t get the key of the session… however it only took me a few minutes to realise that he hated bondage unless he could easily escape (not so likely in mine!) and was more interested in foot and shoe worship!

Hmmm – so I made him suffer a spanking for misleading me – then teased and tormented him with my leather boots, then extreme red 6″ heels, then switched to open toe 5″ heels (all without platforms) so he would see a bit more delectable foot with each shoe change until I was satisfied he deserved to worship my bare feet..

It was very very fun once I realised what his “buttons” were.

That’s really the key of the pre-session interview – getting to know just how to best use my sub’s fetishes and fantasies against him to gain ever better control!