I often see people making statements that imply a lot if not most people involved in BDSM are in some way damaged.
I’ve been giving this a lot of thought recently – and I have to say that I disagree – though it may be true that a lot of people in general have been affected by violence, strange occurrences or abuse of some sort in their lives – I don’t think that there is any higher prevalence in BDSM than there is in the general population.
Some people like to view BDSM as having a cathartic function – this may be the case for some – but it certainly hasn’t been the case for me or most of the subs I’ve seen over more than 10 years of personal and professional play.
Most people are just interested in exploring their sexuality in a different way. A small percentage are honestly attracted to a life of service and find BDSM a valuable way of expressing this as opposed to other possible paths like a religious calling, the military or other opportunities for selfless serving (charity work, medicine, whatever). Of course only a small percentage of people in these professions are called to a life of service – but that’s the same of subs!
Human sexuality is such a fantastic mix of different wonderful and terrible things. Just because I get aroused by the feeling of a tongue on my feet through soft leather or the smell of an alcohol swab or by running my fingers across a hot welted bottom doesn’t mean I’m trying to achieve some sort of catharsis – just that I’m a hedonistic kinky person with a rather complicated sex-drive.
And as far as I’m concerned the same applies to my subs – both personal and professional.