by | Aug 23, 2008

I keep meaning to write about some of my couple sessions recently and then getting distracted (ooh – shiny)

I really enjoy couple sessions – except when I don’t – cause sometimes not so much my cup of tea – depending really on the couples involved and their expectations. When there are two personalities things become more complicated! If I’m a human sex-toy… not so much – if I’m there more as a mentor and facilitator of their experience – for sure!

That said – I love teaching and I really love helping women be more confident with their sexual expression… I’m also really interested in dynamics – who comes to see me and why… what the experience is about for all of us – and how to make sure we all (even me) come away with a positive experience.

Recently I’ve had sessions with three different couples, all of whom have had their own unique perspective of BDSM.

My older domestic disciple couple I’ve written about before – and I’ve been happy to have them visit on several occasions…

Today was a couple session that I found very fun – the male is someone I’ve seen on a few occasions, the lady someone who he’s recently started seeing and who he’s introducing to BDSM. So far he’d been dominating her, but they came to see me together so I could show her some techniques and tips to be more confident in her dominance – specifically she wanted to learn to use a strap-on on him!

Well that was Very Fun I must say 😉

She had a high level of natural dominance, but balanced out by caring – which is of course so important. She was excited to learn and play, and was very interested in discovering how to balance her needs as a novice Top with his as an experienced submissive… I think he found it quite dehumanising (in an erotic way) to have two glamorous women discussing ways to violate him as if he wasn’t even there! Hehehe – I certainly enjoyed it!

A lot of the actual activities we covered were reasonably basic (cock and ball bondage, flogging, spanking, anal play etc) but what I really wanted to convey was how to relish and create the emotional experiences… a highlight for me was the look in her eyes as she stood over him – while he knelt naked before her and pressed his face into her boots. She felt *Dominant* – not like someone dressed up like a dominatrix – or like she was a performing seal learning what *he* wanted… she really felt it – that intense emotion which is so hard to explain.

At the end she gave him a very good seeing to with the new strap on harness and dildo they’d bought at everyone’s favourite sexy store MaXXX Black in Newtown. I always recommend it to couples because there’s such a great selection of sexy toys and books without the nasty, sleazy vibe you get in other places…

She’d never used one before – and I really loved seeing the look on her face – and the realisation in his eyes that this wasn’t a role play – she’d tapped into something that was just waiting to come out! I said to him quietly when she was in the bathroom that I hoped he realised how lucky he was!

It was interesting thinking about switching – because it is something I recommend to all couples and to my apprentice mistress_jadis when she first started training… even though I’m not really a very good example of that myself! I did a little professionally years ago when I was at SK – but never on an erotic level – more just “pure” cp or domestic discipline… and I’ve tested out new toys so I know what they feel like. But actual submission – not so much – though I have felt deep respect to those Senior to me which is a little similar in some ways.

Another couple I’ve seen recently are coming back to see me later next week.

At first I was slightly nervous about playing with them because they’re a Male Dom/fem sub couple – and to be honest I’ve met a few awful “Masters” over the years – but I spoke to them both on the phone first and he seemed really nice and not at all arrogant and she sounded very confident which is always a good sign. I then heard that they’d been open to switching so that was another very good sign to me 😉

The session was really fun – they were even nicer than I was expecting from the positive phone conversations. She was very beautiful – and in my opinion a little more of a hedonist than a submissive… which can be an excellent perspective – open to exploring and enjoying what the world had to offer… He was a charming gentleman, and also interested in exploring – I bound them together at one point and tormented them both which was very fun and exciting.

It’s always refreshing when people are open to experiences and not too caught up in definitions. I feel it can be very easy to feel pressured into picking a side – rather than exploring one’s desires… so a healthy dose of hedonism is to be recommended to all!

It’s a very good thing indeed 😀