The eroticism of the unattainable

by | Nov 4, 2015

For potential slaves and submissives whose experiences so far have been with Kinky Escorts and other Fetish Sex Workers it can sometimes be a bit difficult to understand how a session with a Classical Dominatrix can be an exciting or erotic experience.

Not only is sex totally off the table – but you don’t get to see her naked, touch her body or even see her topless!

But this is the allure and eroticism of the unattainable woman – an authentic Domina who will listen to your interests, respect your limits but then use her skills, intuition and dominance to craft an experience that pleases *her* and doesn’t just mechanically go though the activities you’ve mentioned and add on some nudity or “worship” for an extra¬†tribute…

I recently played with someone who’d been used to incorporating more sexual elements with other ladies but decided to take a chance on a different style of Domination to find out what it really was all about. This is the beautiful thank you note he sent me (posted with permission) – with a few details removed for discretion ūüėČ as you can read he discovered the power of a Dominant Woman taking control of him – and how the removal of any concept of reciprocity allows a submissive to sink fully into the moment¬†and take their BDSM experience to another level.

Dear Mistress Servalan,

I am still floating on endorphins several hours after our encounter.

You state that you do not conduct body worship or other sexual activity, yet today’s session was a most intense erotic experience for me.¬† I think the term is CFNM or some such?¬† I have had great sessions before, as both dom and sub, and with various types of sexual experiences with my professional and social play partners.¬† I think I now understand, from today’s experience, more about the beauty of true power exchange, and its impact on the psyche, than ever before in those previous encounters.¬† And that it is intensified rather than diminished by the CFNM setting, without any physical servicing of the domme.¬† You are a Mistress and a teacher, in the finest meaning of that word.¬† Lest I appear presumptuous, I emphasise that I consider myself a neophyte in these matters, despite experiences spread over several years.¬† I hope that I might learn to experience more strongly the “ecstasy of submission”, including under your professional guidance.

You created an extraordinary level of arousal in me, by touching me in various pleasurable and mildly painful ways, by bodily invasion with increasing intensity, by depriving me of all control and at times some of my senses, and in general by your commanding and sensual presence in the room.

I approached  your kneeling bench with apprehension, realising by inspection that it would render me totally powerless & defenceless.  As you strapped me onto that bench, slowly, to emphasise the stripping away of any control, and restricted all and any movements that I might have made to protect or shield any part of myself, I descended into a blissful state of pure mental submission to you.  My mental space was devoid of any will to action, wanting only to accept whatever you decided to do with and to me.

As you penetrated me….¬†{edited for discretion} I relaxed into accepting totally that you owned me, that any decisions about what I could or could not take were entirely yours to make.¬† My mental acceptance led to full physical relaxation, which must have helped to accommodate….¬† I have never before experienced those sensations…¬†{edited for discretion} It was my most intense and pleasurable anal experience ever.

Later, immobilised on the bench and blindfolded….{edited for discretion}¬†Then spent, inert, I drifted into a calm sea¬† of quiet pleasure, as you released my bonds and eventually assisted me to my feet.

Dear Mistress, it might have been a very mild session for you; for me it was an exquisite sensual experience.

I do hope you will allow me to submit myself to you again soon, perhaps with relaxation of some of my constraints.  Please reply briefly to confirm that you would permit that.

Until then, my thoughts will return often to the sensations I experienced for the first time at Carisbrook, and I remain,

Your humble and obedient servant,

The unattainable woman is a powerful and exciting archetype that has existed throughout time for a reason! Commanding and desirable she inspires devotion instead of merely lust. I believe that this is what a Dominatrix is – the Goddess on a pedestal – while regular sex workers can offer an amazing kinky experience – there is something very different to the power of the Unattainable Dominant Female.